What Caused Adam’s Suicide?
Suicide is permanent. Yet it often occurs in a moment or moments of a temporary crisis. Someone once said that suicide occurs when someone’s pain exceeds their resources for coping with pain. During those moments when Adam contemplated suicide as a solution, his internal resources were depleted.
Maybe it seems trivial to talk about lack of sleep. But three days without sleep can bring on hallucinations and delusions. Combine lack of sleep with ritalin. And too much Ritalin at that, and you now have a medically documented suicide risk. An overdose or a sudden crash on Ritalin has been known to cause suicidal thoughts. Combine that with a glass or two of alcohol, and you have a lethal soup.
The scarey aspect of Adam’s suicide is that he was a happy person, a successful student, well liked, well loved, and had dreams and aspirations. Suicide is the 3rd leading cause of death among young people: ages 20-24, and young men are six times more likely to commit suicide than young women.
Why is that? Is it the reckless behavior that is often natural in young men? Is it the fact that they do not always confide and seek emotional support when they are grappling with an emotional crisis?
At the moment when Adam took that final action, he had no resources to cope with the pain he was in. But why was he in so much pain? We will never really know for sure, but I have my answer… and I will always believe that the combination of lack of sleep, Ritalin and alcohol created a toxic ideation and killed my son.
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