My Birthday: 2010
Adam age 4 - sipping a "Shirley Temple" at the Pink Elephant in Boca Grande
On Friday, July 9th, I celebrated my birthday. One of my clients and a dear friend, Sue, had invited me to a birthday lunch. I met her at around noon at her office on Boca Grande, and as we finished some work, the conversation of where we would go for lunch ensued.
Another friend, Addie, was joining us. She and Sue talked about what restaurants were open even though it was summer, and off-season. One of them mentioned The Pink Elephant. I hadn’t been to The Pink Elephant in many years. And for a moment, I thought about the last time I had been there. But I continued with my work, and did not dwell on it.
At around 1:30 – we were ready to go… the decision had been made. The Pink Elephant was our destination. As we arrived at the restaurant, my memories flooded in.
The last time I had been to the restaurant – my beautiful boy, Adam, was just shy of 4 years old. I was living in Connecticut at the time, and Adam’s father, Leszek, and I were visiting my parents in North Port. We spent quite a bit of time on Boca Grande. The beautiful island was becoming one of my favorite places.
It was New Years Eve (or maybe the day before). Our time in Florida was coming to a close. We brought our beautiful boy with us for an outing on The Island and stopped at The Pink Elephant for a drink. The waitress came to the table and asked him what he would like. In a very adult voice, he ordered a Shirley Temple. I remember watching as his beautiful rosebud lips turned red from the maraschino cherries in his drink. I took several photos of him.
As Sue and Addie and another friend, Pam, and I arrived at The Pink Elephant on Friday, I could feel the memory creeping in. I began to see Adam. His bright red lips – the straw, the pink drink. The host asked us if we would prefer outside or inside, and Sue turned to me. I stuttered as I uttered, “outside”. I was swept into my memories. I sat in my seat at the patio table.
I could feel my heart beating strongly as I shared with my lunchtime companions the moment that I was re-living. Their kindness was palpable. Every one of them a mother, herself. Understanding and sharing the poignant sadness of the beautiful memory of my son, Adam.
Today I tackled a batch of photos in search of the “Pink Elephant” moment. It was within seconds that I found the photo. And I’m so happy as I think how Adam came through at lunch time on Friday, and helped me to relive a vivid, beautiful moment of our time together.
I love you Adam. Thank you for the beautiful present.
Out of the Darkness Walk 2009
Out of the Darkness 2008
On October 26th we walked to raise funds for suicide prevention. It was a beautiful sunny day on the beach, and the atmosphere was sad but loving. I was reflecting on my beautiful son, Adam who committed suicide on Jan 11. I still experience a jolt when I realize that he is dead. I do believe that his spirit lives, thus the name of our team.
If you are suicidal, there is a phone number to call: it is 1-800-273-TALK. Please call. Please stay alive. You are more important than you will ever know. Life is beautiful and the hard time will pass. I will be missing Adam for the rest of my life.
The Walk 2008
Well the walk was Sunday, and after a few very busy workdays, I’ve had a chance to look at the pictures and collect my thoughts.
There were so many wonderful moments.
A huge Thank You !!! To all who participated. Those who donated and walked in Sarasota and those who walked and donated in Manchester. Together we raised over $6,000 for suicide prevention studies.
Chris organized the Manchester walk, and she and I have had so many conversations throughout the months since Adam died. She is the mother of Adam’s girlfriend. She came to love Adam in the short time that she got to know him. He loved her too. She and her husband totally embraced him. She and I have talked a lot about turning this tragedy into something that can help someone. I’m grateful that she has helped me to see that I can keep going forward and that something positive can come from this.
Chris sent me some photos from the Manchester walk and I’ve got some shots from the Siesta Key (Sarasota) walk. I’m putting them together and will post a small slide show… so watch this space.
I am inspired by so many conversations that took place on Sunday. We talked through our tears about our loss, our learning, our faith, our hope and how we cope. As we walked.
It is a profound experience to be with others who have lost their son, brother, friend, cousin, nephew, grandson… and of course all of that in the female gender too. But what was so profoundly sad was that so many of the people who have committed suicide were so young. And beautiful. Just like Adam.
That’s what surviving suicide is about.
In Adam’s Honor, Please Help Me
My son, Adam Szychowski committed suicide on January 11, 2008. In his honor and in the hope that we can prevent such a tragedy from occurring again, I have formed a team to walk on October 26th in Siesta Key, Florida. People may also be walking in Manchester and Fairfield Connecticut in his honor.
I hope that you will consider walking with me. If you cannot walk, please consider sponsoring me or another walker. This is an extremely important cause.
For more information, please click on the link for the Sarasota walk on the right.
