Appreciating the OtherGround

September 20, 2008 · Posted in Out of the Darkness Walk, Prevention 

Wrestling was an important part of Adam’s life.  When he was 15, he joined the high school wrestling team.  His interest in martial arts prompted him to started posting in an on-line community call the OtherGround Forum, at a mixed martial arts website  www.mixedmartialarts.com.

Adam was a regular contributor on the forum over the years.  He had genuine friendships with the young men he met there.  Although most he had never seen in person.

Early this week I sent a note to two of the men that Adam knew from the forum, and notified them of his suicide.  It was the first they had heard about it. They posted the news along with the information about the AFSP Suicide Prevention Walk.

What followed was simply unbelievable.

The forum members vigorously supported the walk.  As they remembered Adam and reflected on the profound loss they also made very generous donations toward the cause.   I could almost feel a collective cheer when the goal was reached.  (Thank you!!!)

The threads that were woven were insightful, witty, thought provoking, kind, and reflected something wonderful.  I can see why Adam loved these guys.

The outpouring of emotion was loaded with praise for Adam and kindness toward me and a desire to understand why such a great kid would take his own life.

I also want to know why such a great kid would give up on his life.  I am sad that the statistics of suicide are so high among young men: it is the second leading cause of death among men 18-24.

As a society, we need to be sure that every boy in our world realizes how wonderful and important he is.  There is so much texture to each human being, but sometimes in our world, (and I especially saw this in school) there is a tendency to try and mold boys into something other than what they are.  To iron out the wrinkles and stifle their natural energy .

We need to embrace our boys.  To celebrate their qualities.  And our institutions need to do the same.  We need to let them know how amazing and valuable they are.

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